Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Achan

I wanted to write something special for fathers’ day. I had been thinking for days. But couldn't come up with something that would match the passion with which I wrote this on Mothers' Day. So finally I decided to write about the same thing in a different angle. After all Achan and Amma come as a package. Let a day not seperate them.

Achan was always sad that he couldn't study much due to his parents' financial circumstances. But he always wanted all of us, Amma, me and brother to study and reach the zenith of achievements.

"Do you know what, today Rahima told me that if I do some course as an additional qualification, my office will reimburse the tuition fee" Amma told this one day and it all began.

Achan was excited.” Did you find out what can you study?"
"There is this PGDCA that everyone in office is planning to do?"
"PGDCA is computers, right?"

Amma enrolled for the course. Every Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning she used to have classes. Achan would go to drop her and pick her up.

She had class mates of all ages, she being the eldest.
"All are so much younger than me."
"So what?" Achan never found anything abnormal in that.

Then her exams started. She took a couple of days off from office to prepare. Achan used to get up earlier than usual and prepare food. Amma would be studying.

When we come back home in the evening, he would hush hush us.
"Shhhhh. Let her study. You put the TV volume down"
"Acha, let us have food. I am so hungry"
"Ask your Amma, if she is hungry"We would be still glued to TV.

Finally he would get up, slowly open the door of their bedroom and peek inside to find a just-about-to-cry Amma breaking her head over C++ and Java. He would come to me with a sad face.
"Neenu, can't you help your Amma? You have studied all these, right?"
"Errr, yup." I knew what a himalayan task it was.

First was her practical. I was damn sure she wouldn't pass. So I gave her a small chit with all the possible programs. Amma was reluctant initially. But I managed to convince her and even taught her how to cheat in the exam without being caught.

Achan got the shock of his life.
"Nooooooo. If she gets caught what a shame it will be"
"Acha, she will manage. You don't worry"
"I would still suggest No"

When it was time for her to start to the exam, he came to me, lowered his voice and saked
"Is she takng the chit?"
"Sure, she is"
"I don't know ... But let me tell you, it will be such a shame if she gets caught"
"Acha, plsssssssss, do you want her to pass or not?"
"No no. I want her to pass. But ... are you sure she can manage"
"Acha, you are impossible"
He could breathe his relief only after she came back and didn't say anything about being caught and chucked out of the exam hall.

It was her theory exams after that.
"Today is her exam, eh?"
"Yes Acha"
Achan would drop Amma and come back. He would check the clock every 5 minutes to se if it is time to go pick her up. FInally he would lose patience and start to fetch her back.

"I couldn't write much. I finished in 30 mins ahead of time."
"So what? I saw your colleague, that lady in blue sari, what is her name, anyway she was out in one hour"
"But her brother is a software engineer, She must have done well"
"What a joke, it is she who writes the exam not he"Achan always had HOPE. (Great hopes at times)

Then he used to recheck with me.
"Neenu, what did your Amma say about the exam?"
"She says it went well"
"So she will pass?"
"Well, I guess so"
He would give his 1000 watts smile.

After that it took Amma quite some time to be a PGDCA. Every time she would come home particularly gloomy on the day her results are announced. Achan wouldn't want to hurt her. So he would act as if he didn't understand what happened.

"Neenu, did her result come?"
"Yes"
“How is it?”Achan would ask.
“Better than I thought. She cleared 2 papers”
“Really???!!! Out of how many”
“Oh .. just 12”
“So just 10 more” Achan would give his relieved smile.
The story would repeat after 3 months. She would start studying for her next exams. Achan would take up the charge of the entire house. And still act as if everything were normal.

When she finally cleared all her papers, I was at Hyderabad. She called me up to inform the good news. I was so proud about her. I asked her to give the phone to Achan.

"Acha, so she finally made it"
"Yes dear"
I could see Achan smiling at the other end. He had reasons to be a proud husband.

49 Comments:

Blogger Dhanush | ധനുഷ് said...

Wow .. ExcellentPost .. Really Loved it.

After all Achan and Amma come as a package. Let a day not seperate them.

Very true, and that may be one reason which I wish them always on their anniversary instead of these days.

12:23 AM  
Blogger srijithunni said...

Well!, more than the post pertaining to father`s day. I must say. your mother is a very lucky woman to have such a sweet husband.

With Regards,
Srijith.

1:41 AM  
Blogger Inder said...

You know what? You are so very blessed to have such a darling dad. :)

2:11 AM  
Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

and it was Dewdy ! i think i had seen u on a couple of other blogs too .. .

2:21 AM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@dhanush
i don't wish them either. these days mean nothing more than Archies cards ;)

@srijith
wait wait. i will get Amma to comment on that ;)

@inder
i know. but dads are always darlings, rite? i am sure u have lotsa stories to tell about ur dad too.

@deepa
oops ..... word of mouth has the highest rate if attrition ;). wen he told me i heard its dudy, feminine word for dude or smething ..

@aqua
i am sure he is proud of u too.

2:53 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hats off to ur Achhan...
such guyz add more meaning to the word Man.

Reading such posts just brings so much of joy...
*All smiles... with teeth visible*

Indeed a wonderful tribute to a fantastic man(dad & husband)!

//After all Achan and Amma come as a package. Let a day not seperate them.//
Amen for that!

3:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:) tats cho chweet..

'n teaching ur mom the tricks of the trade (underhand ones also..) :D.

"After all Achan and Amma come as a package. Let a day not seperate them."
Isn't there anything such as a "Parent's Day". That would be so much fairer!

4:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

excellent post sweetheart...!
really wonderful...keep it up..

n yes, mom n dad r god gifted..n they teach us the first lessons in love..

4:01 AM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@koutilya
he always had high dreams about each one of us. he even wanted me to try for civil service. i bargained and settled with an MBA ;)

@sanju
mom is an expert now .. *she is winking at me now*

@nair
hello sweety pie. i have enabled the anonymous comments just to let u comment..

"they teach us the first lessons in love.. "
ahem ahem

4:18 AM  
Blogger milieu said...

Yes, its the most unselfish relationship. Its so one sided, the kids get all the benefit and yet the parents are happy for you.
Nice post.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Sudarshan said...

Touching but great:-) It was a huge task, but winning at the end is always sweet:-) Your dad's attitude is superb..such people make a real difference:-) I'm glad your mom achieved what she wanted to:-) Really nicely written!!!

7:31 AM  
Blogger nevermind said...

sounds just like my dad. my mum sort of exploded at around 50, did various degrees and then a phd. my dad bent over backwards to help, took her everywhere!!

7:42 AM  
Blogger Dotm said...

You are so lucky to have such loving caring parents. I think watching that special closeness they have for each other makes them even better parents.They have the kind of Love that teaches their children how to love others.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Ujj said...

great as usual..im beginning to wait for these posts as they come you know..id like you to describe your fathers reaction to this post..that may be worth a million watch..

10:20 AM  
Blogger Reshmi said...

As usual, simplicity is the beauty of ur post..:)..dew drops touch..!!i must say..:)

10:16 PM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@sreekumar
can't be truer.

@sudarshan
Amma's determination was superb. i didn't think that at that age she wud do it. even now, i am too lazy to study. i dream of a PhD, but always find excuses not to do it. may b, at her age, i'll do ;)

@nevermind
hats off for ur parents

@dotm
yes. home is where u pick up the first lessons of life

@usg
leave achan's reaction. amma would be furious that she did all the hard work and achan is getting all the credit.

@reshmi
thanks dear. parents are always like that. u can't talk about them without such a gr8 feeling at heart.

11:44 PM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@reverend

You wrote
"Maybe you should wish them...or do something to show your appreciation. "

love manifest itself in so many forms. this is how it happens between us. We don't keep saying we love each other. neither do explicitly express that every time. But v feel it even in the subtlest of activities v do.

achan & amma come from not so financially sound background. but they never let us know that. v were born with all sorts of comforts. but they had to sacrifice lotsa things for that. achan doesn’t spend a penny whenever he goes out. he would always come back home walking all the way and without having even a coffee from outside.

amma also had her share of sacrifices. she used to avoid even going to the doctor so that she can spend all that on us.

My parents had been very understanding and taught me a lot more than what they taught me in my 17 years of formal education. They made me independent. Achan was always sad that he couldn't get good education and did everything to give us the best. Amma had always been an inspiration. They made my"self".

I have got a younger brother who treats me like a younger sis. He has made me a pampered brat. We always used to fight in our childhood days. But once we grew up to know the meaning of our relationship it was a different story altogether.

My posts about "small incidents" of our life are tokens of my love to them. There had been times I made them cry. How much I wish I could tell them that I am sorry and I can't live without them.

To Achan & Amma,

i wish you forgive me. I know I couldn't play the "most desirable daughter & sister" part that well. Thanks a lot for still caring for me. And thanks a lot for acknowledging that I have a life of my own which will be entwined with each one of yours but still be separate. I know it was painful. It was painful for me too. But that was, is and will always be the law of life. I will go through the same phase once I age to be as graceful as you are.

i don't know how to put it, but the truth is that even when i wanted not to hurt you as much as you wanted to be with me, we couldn't do that. now i am happy and thankful to god that he is again bringing us together. it is when the foundation of our family was shaken that we knew each other more.

above all, thanks for treating me like a grown up and a kid at the same time. thanks for teaching me to live a woman's life in a man's world. acha, thanks for telling me t is my life and that matters more than the society and its fake rules. amma, thanks for calling me even when i forgot to call u. brother, thanks for telling me you love me more than anyone else can ever do.

acha, sorry for making you cry. sorry for tainting your pride for my sake. you still told me i have all the right to live my life. when will i ever be able to pay you back.

amma & achan, i wish i get one more time, to treat you the way you have treated me. wish i get the right words at the right time to tell you - i love you.

12:02 AM  
Blogger the sunflower said...

WOW... this is sucha a rare thing... God bless ur father...

1:18 AM  
Blogger Rose said...

I am sure He had 'n' no. of reasons to be the proud father of a strong, independent daughter as well..

:)

..Me

1:51 AM  
Blogger Known Stranger said...

my good ness.. a perfect man behind a woman. hmm i wish i could shake hands with your dad.

Nothing else. I just wish to sit with him, feel him proud. it is always nvery nice to get along with such a person. i love to meet persons of this kind.

3:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there are some things i cant write in my blog....doesnt fit the character. :)
living in trivandrum, there was always a lotta pressure on me to do well in skool. i couldnt understand it then, but there seemed to be much more pressure - something brought on by the society we lived in - on my parents to make me perform.
they didnt understand me, i didnt understand them and i moved out as soon as i could, to do my graduation away from home.
i dint know it then, he wont do it in front of me, but appa cried when he left me in the college hostel. it took time, but i realised eventually what they went through, how much they loved me and the love i had for them.
i just wish there was some way i could tell them that.
i dont know, but i think they are kinda proud of me now. mummy keeps tellin my sister how good i was, something i always longed to hear.
i was always closer to appa, but now, i seem to talk to mummy more.
things have changed. i suppose u realise someone's importance only when u r away from them.
by the way, i dint know it was father's day. dont know when mother's day and sister's day are. that is irrelevant i suppose. it is the thought that counts. NICE.

3:57 AM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@sunil
hey, that was a good observation. thanks.

@sunflower
thanks dear. god bless u too

@stranger
u r welcome dear. barge in if u happen to come to kochi anytime

@country fellow
doesn't fit whose character? that david copperfield in the pic sitting on the hay stack with a stupid cap on?

at the end of the day, they are always proud of us. they even glorify the stupid things v have done during our "kiddish" times. that is why they are called "parents" and that is why we are called "children". loved reading ur comment.

(true. that doesn't go with the image u maintain in ur blog)

6:01 AM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@rose

coming from an insider, i hope u r right, or that i prove u right one day. love u sweety, for always having the right words at the right time (and many more things)

6:11 AM  
Blogger silverine said...

Your achchan is the real man..the type who have it in them to be called a "man". Hats off to him!!!

6:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, not copperfield, that is tom sawyer.

7:09 AM  
Blogger Dhanush | ധനുഷ് said...

We always used to fight in our childhood days. But once we grew up to know the meaning of our relationship it was a different story altogether.

How True.. I think there is a point in one's life that you know that your person is to be treated as an Individual, one should listen to their problems and give them the friendship the seek from you. Me and My youonger Sis would have had the worst fights, but now we are the best friends. I think its all part of growingup that somewhere you realise, your sis or bro is no more a kiddo.

7:21 AM  
Blogger starry said...

Happy fathers day to your Dad, I know you are proud of him.beautiful post.

8:52 AM  
Blogger Ash said...

Beautiful post...

8:33 PM  
Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

hi miss !

awesome .... that was so ggod on ur dad's part !

u know what , when mom was doing her MD, we were all shipped off to our native place so that she could study in peace .....

was mad at her for sometime , but as i grew older , i realised what she did was right

i liked the line : After all Achan and Amma come as a package. Let a day not seperate them.


if only parents would be supportive abt everything ... right ????????

am gonna add u to my blogroll

c ya

8:53 PM  
Blogger Dr O2 said...

poor dads. They do alot, they care for every family member n yet have to work outside & their presence is felt less :-S

But hey that's the beauty of a married life. Caring for the other without expectations.

10:33 PM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@silverline
dankssssssss dear

@country fellow
tom swayer, that naughty kid ?? oops... i better keep off from u

@dhanush
i think there is a common script for all the houses. just athe actors differ ;)

@starry
yes, i am. just hoping to giv him some reasons to be proud of me too.

@ash
dannnnnkuuuu

@deeps
thanks dear. hope u r fine now.

i guess parents must be think if only we could understand wat they r toking about. that is the inevitable conflict of growing up *sigh*

waiting for the day v all stop groping in the dark.

@dr
true man. i mean, the second para. in the first i would want to include mothers also. (she must be already pissed off that she worked hard for 3 yrs to get the degree and achan is taking all the credit)

11:22 PM  
Blogger The Xorcist...!!! said...

Hey interesting blog....never thought of writing interactions with my dad....
You could visit ma blog,
www.anirudhrathi.blogspot.com


Lost!!

1:25 AM  
Blogger ~*. D E E P A .* ~ said...

yes , u r right

and i find that grandparents are more liberal .. maybe coz there aint so much responsibility on them !

4:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

great Dad...
check this out too

4:15 AM  
Blogger Inder said...

There was this recent movie in Tamil - 'Thavamai Thavamirundu'. It is about a father, the troubles he go through and his sacrifices to bring up his two sons. A well made movie. Touchy one. Your comment reminded me of this movie.

4:29 AM  
Blogger monu said...

ahaaaa ...athu seri appo than ammaye varey copy adikkan padipichu alley :O ...kollammm...

((imagining what u do with u r kids))

5:53 AM  
Blogger monu said...

ahaaaa ...athu seri appo than ammaye varey copy adikkan padipichu alley :O ...kollammm...

((imagining what u do with u r kids))

5:53 AM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@l.o.s.t
thanks for ur visit, dear. sure i will

@deeps
guess that shud b true

@thulasi
thanks

@inder
oops.. havn't watched it yet.

@monu
i too am scared of my kids. but i am scared thinking wat all wil they teach me .. LoL

6:03 AM  
Blogger AJ ! Serendipity !!! said...

haha teaching ur parents stuff like computers or driving car is a mad mad task but at the same time it is lotsa fun :)

8:03 AM  
Blogger CyberRowdy(Q8TechDrive) said...

Amma or Achan is better? Actually Achan is better than amma and amma is better than achan and Achan is better than amma and amma is better than achan and Achan is better than amma and amma is better than achan nd Achan is better than amma and amma is better than achan nd Achan is better than amma and amma is better than achan....LOL!

Both are equally the best! pray to god that we have 'em!

8:52 AM  
Blogger hope and love said...

beautiful post..!!

9:35 AM  
Blogger Mind Curry said...

happy father's day to achan :) yours, ,mine and everyones.

12:05 PM  
Blogger jac said...

That was a lovely achan amma story !

Congrats dewdrops !!

12:17 PM  
Blogger Dew Drops said...

@ajay
if only u knew how i managed to teach them play solitaire and how my brother is now struggling to teach them send e-mails to me .. LoL

@rowdy
u r always rowdy at its best

@reverend
thanks ..

@hope and love
dankuuuuuuuuu maam

@mindcurry
yup .. may all achans of the world have a wonderful year ahead.

@jac
dankuuuuuuu

10:23 PM  
Blogger thoughtrains said...

Nice post.Keep going...

5:33 AM  
Blogger Flyaway Mind said...

your achan is so optimistic.. what a great post to showcase his cool attitude.. it's optimism that drives us all forward..chits part was funny :-)

6:08 AM  
Blogger Pradeep Nair said...

Such episodes are what make a perfect home.

11:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just Awesome!!!!!

12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweet!!! achan n amma - always the nucleus of a family.

4:50 PM  

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