Eating away to glory …..
Let us face it. Office is boring. The only thought that makes this less traumatic an experience is when I remember having slept during movies like Phir Bhi Dil Hein Hindusthani and Hero No 1. The very thought of those movies still makes me shiver with anger for having spent 60 Rs each at a time when my monthly pocket money wasn’t sufficient to buy even Pani Puri. I can eat, drink, sleep office but spare me of Govinda and David Dhawan. And I can throw the entire salary into the arabian sea. (I know our thornyrose will be at the other with open arms to catch it). But just can’t spend a single penny on those weird imitations of human species.
Our sole ray of hope, our God sent angel in this office is a decently tall, clean shaven guy in an all white dress with a cute thilak on his forehead. The moment we step in, we would be waiting for him. With our eyes fixed on the door through which he steps in, we would be counting milli seconds. Usually, he appears around 11.30.
Me: Kya hei bhayya aaj?
He: Aloo ke Parathe and Veg Biriyani
Me: Or Sweet mein?
From then, we would be day dreaming about aloo ke parathe, veg biriyani and Kheer. We would be in a trance. The plates would be rolling round and round in front of our eyes. By that time the only consolations we had had would be the light break fast in the morning and sandwich at 10.30 soon after getting to office.
The longest of time of the day is the hours between 11.30 and 1.00. We check our mails as many times as humanly possible. Have tea 3 times. Go to the ladies’ room 2 times. Make phone calls 4 times. And it would still be 12.50. The rest 10 mins ………. my good lord ….. we only know how we manage to spend.
Tring Tring. My phone rings.
ThornyRose: Khana laga hoga kya?
Me: Ek nahi baje. Lets go chk.
Damn guy is punctual. He says he is getting it.
Tring Tring. Her phone rings.
Me: Ek baar phir dekhke?
TR: Chalo. Dekhthe hein.
Tring Tring. Pantry phone rings.
He: Madam, leke aa rahein hei.
We: Bookh se marne ke baad laoge kya?
The only thing on earth, that unite me and thornyrose is food. Food of all kind, race and sex. We devour it with the purest form of dedication. It is a pious activity. We don’t even talk during that sacrosanct act. And the precision in sharing things exactly by two cant not be beaten by any super computer.
All this slogging in the office, traveling in the local train and staying at unreachable distance from family, are all justified at that moment. Everything that men do is, after all, for a day’s food. (Whatever is left after that can be spent on clothes, accessories and make up). I am sure we will enter the Hall of Fame with Kris, Shukla and our very own Rafeeq.
There are very few occassions when thornyrose cooperates with me. One of such occasions is while placing our order for the day. (The other occasions are choosing between chicken and mutton and having mysore masala dosa at Phoenix mills). Whether it’s done by her or me, we choose different dishes so that we enjoy the entire gamut that day offers. And yes, she is ofcourse jealous of me. I eat I eat and I eat. She eats she eats and she would soon look like she had just swallowed a baby elephant.
After lunch we take a break till 4.00. A one hour tea break. Then dinner sharp at 9. (The snacks at 6.30 before going home is negligible, right?).
Next morning ….. here he comes ……. will catch you guys later ……….